Saskia wakes up suddenly and sits up in bed. Sighing, she switches off the alarm. Her whole body demands a few more hours of sleep, but that’s impossible. She rubs her strained neck and remembers how long she lay awake last night. So much still needs to be done at work and the girls also have to go to school … Karel was not happy last night when she said that she’d probably have to work overtime again in the coming days. They’d had a big fight. Saskia sighs again. We should actually go on holiday, she thinks to herself. But … that important takeover at work isn’t going to sort itself out … It’s just not possible to go away for a few days at the moment, then everything will come unstuck. Then she swings her feet over the edge of the bed. The day has begun.
Too many balls
Saskia has many balls to keep in the air. Her family, looking after her children, her work as a manager … No wonder she needs a vacation. But she doesn’t dare let go of any of those “balls.” Why is it that Saskia thinks that everything will fall part if she goes on holiday?
Don’t get me wrong, it could be that Saskia is right: that her team really does not function well without supervision. That would be a big problem for Saskia, because then, even when she’s on holiday, she still wouldn’t be free. She would constantly worry about how things are going at work.
As a manager, How to you create a situation where you don’t have to worry constantly? Where a team functions without direct management, so that you, as a manager, can take a carefree holiday?
3 basic needs of every person
In Transactional Analysis (TA) we assume that every person has 3 basic needs. When these 3 basic needs are met, people generally feel good and function well. Of course this is also true for the people in Saskia’s team, for Saskia herself and for Karel and the children.
1. Need for recognition:
Every person wants to be seen. You want recognition for who you are and what you do.
Employees want that too. For every employee it is important to really look at them and positively state what they have done for work. Employees need Saskia to look at them with real attention. If there’s criticism, it is given respectfully.
The same applies at home. Children, Karel and Saskia have the same needs.
You too have that need. Do you have enough people in your life who really see you? No? Then arrange an appointment today with a friend, colleague or coach who can really see you. It’s positive and will do you good.
2. Need for clarity:
Clarity is important. Lack of clarity requires a lot of energy. Do Saskia’s employees have a clear vision of what they still have to do? Is it on paper or are there tasks which are wandering through Saskia’s head? Is it clear who will take on which tasks and what the agreements are?
Is it clear to employees what’s expected of them? Is it well defined what they want to work on together? Have clear agreements been made?
Do you have a clear division of tasks at home and at work? Who does the shopping? Who takes the children to school? By clearly agreeing on these things, we find peace and harmony again.
If you lack this clarity, make a note now and talk to your colleagues, your boss or your housemates about it.
3. Need for stimulus: Spread your wings and be allowed to grow
Everyone has the need to grow and learn new things. You need an incentive for that. Saskia’s employees also need this. Do they have enough room to grow or do they have to adapt too much?
Of course, this also applies in your private life.
Do you and your partner still have enough room for your hobbies, and do you have time to learn new things? Do you encourage each other? And does the same also apply to the children?
If the answer to these questions is “no”, it’s high time to take on a new challenge. Perhaps the ideal time to register for a TA course?
How can Saskia (and you too) feel carefree on holiday?
Because of the way Saskia woke up, we know that her body is full of adrenaline. Saskia has not had a deep night’s sleep. Waking up quietly is not possible. I recognize this all too well. The adrenaline that runs through your body as a result of stress is debilitating. I want you to calmly get used to the day and start it slowly. Because nobody benefits if you as a supervisor, parent or partner are stressed.
TA not only helps you on a carefree holiday
You create a less stressful situation by fulfilling the three basic needs. For yourself, your family and your team. That way you can go on holiday without any worries. Do you want to learn what exactly these basic needs entail and how you can fulfil them for yourself and for those around you? On a regular basis, I give a two-day introduction to TA. During these two days you not only learn everything about the basic needs, but also about other methods with which you learn to communicate better and understand your own communication better. That not only provides you with a carefree holiday, but a better life!
You’re welcome.Yes, I want to know more about the 2-day introduction