“My daughter comes home disappointed every day because she’s not been able to finish her assignments. Is there a way to help with this?”
Sandra, Roos’s teacher, sits at the table opposite Roos’s mother. Roos doesn’t like it at school. That’s a pity, because she actually studies pretty well! Yet she feels that she’s not good enough.
During the conversation between the teacher, Roos and her mother, they find out together that Roos can learn pretty well, but has a lot of trouble with her concentration. She’s distracted by everything that happening around her. That means she often doesn’t finish what she has been assigned to do and feels that she’s not good enough.
“I have an idea. Shall we order headphones for you and give you another place in the classroom so that you can work more quietly?” Sandra asks Roos. “Then it will be okay with your assignments!”
“Yes, I think that’s fine,” says Roos. She clearly feels she’s been taken seriously and is glad that attention is now being paid to her problem. Mother nods too. Everyone is happy with this solution, especially because after a few weeks it already has a visible effect on Roos’s performance.
Personal development doesn’t only take place in coaching or therapy sessions. Everyone who works with people (or children, as in the example above) has to deal with personal growth. This is mainly seen in leadership positions, in education and in medical care. In these positions, it is important to not only pay attention to performance, but especially to the development of people around you. This is particularly visible in education.
Every child, every person is unique. It is precisely this individuality that needs to be supported by their teacher, supervisor or the medical team they are dealing with. In Roos’s case, it’s clear that recognizing her problem ultimately leads to the solution. The teacher could just have looked at her results and could have drawn the conclusion that Roos was not very good at learning. Fortunately, she didn’t, but had an eye for how Roos behaved in the classroom.
Now this was a fairly simple problem, with an easy solution, but there are also much more complex problems. Transactional Analysis (TA) in such cases can help the person in the supervisory position to bring out the best in people.
TA in daily life
In the example above, the teacher Sandra not only made Roos, but also her mother happy. She had an eye for what in TA we call the 3 basic needs. Those basic needs are:
- The need for recognition
The teacher recognized that Roos had difficulty with concentration and offered an adequate solution. Roos and her mother both felt recognized in that need.
- The need for clear structure
Roos knows what is expected of her and gets the opportunity to complete her assignments as well as possible.
- The need for stimulus
To be able to grow, Roos needs a challenge and stimulus. The teacher meets that need by really seeing and understanding Roos.
These sorts of moments are incredibly valuable in the life of a child, but also of the parent. If the teacher can reassure a concerned parent with a ‘it’s going to be ok’, then that is worth more than all the good reports together.
Get to know TA
Do you have a job working with people, for example in a management position, education or the medical world? Then TA can help you to get the best out of yourself and others. Are you interested? Then perhaps the 2-day acquaintance on 21 and 22 September is something for you. More information can be found on the website.
You’re welcome.Yes, I want to know more about the TA introduction